Somepeople think Pastor’s wives are angels that have fallen straight out of heaven and they’re all so perfect. So here we go, getting rid of some misconceptions that you might have about your pastor’s wife. 🙂
You have it all together. You’ve worked through all your issues. Sure, you may struggle, but not with anything major (whatever that may be). I wish this were true, but it’s not!
The reality is: We don’t have it all together, We haven’t worked out all our issues and we have stuff that we struggle with. Real stuff, Real struggles. The truth is, we all have stuff that we’re dealing with and “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8) As a pastor’s wife I know this to be very true, I just wish other people knew it too. As Steve Harvey once said: “Don’t trip, The Lord’s not through working with me yet”
Your gifting should match your husband’s.
Although the pastor and his wife are one flesh, We are not the same person! The way God made me is different than how he made my husband. God knew what he was doing in putting the two of us together. He doesn’t make mistakes.
By God’s grace, be the best “you” you can be.
You can kiss having close friends goodbye.
There is wisdom in carefully choosing to whom you disclose your hopes, desires, and struggles, especially when doing so sheds light on your husband’s flaws. Not everyone can handle such information with grace and maturity. Don’t buy the lie, though, that you can have no close friends. This will only isolate you and your husband from good fellowship with other believers. Everyone in your church should know that you and your husband are sinners, not because you blatantly participate in sinful acts but because of 1 John 1:8.
You must be friends with everyone.
How is this working for you? Even if you’re not a pastor’s or minister’s wife, how deeply are you able to know everyone with whom you come into contact? It’s impossible to be the same kind of friend to everyone. You can try it but most—if not all—of your relationships will be a centimeter deep. We are limited! It’s a practice in humility to acknowledge that we can’t be everyone’s close friend and must trust the Lord to meet that need in us and them.
That being said, if your friend circle is so tight that it hasn’t changed in years, do some examination. Is your group of friends hospitable or alienating? You can’t control what others think but you can be warm, amiable, and willing to be flexible, guarding against trading depth for width.
Your kids are the most sanctified in your church.
Our faith is not an inheritable trait. Although our homes should model what Scripture outlines for a family, our children are individuals with their own faiths. As Godly parents, We can gather all the kindling we can find around their hearts: family devotions, talking of Scripture as we go, modeling forgiveness by asking for it and giving it freely, expressing our own need for the Savior, and praying for their salvation. But, it takes a movement of the Holy Spirit to ignite the flame of faith.
Our kids are like anyone else’s. They are going to fail. They will choose poorly. My kids are at church a lot. They know all corners of the church building. The staff knows them and they know the staff. This comfort factor can often get them in trouble. Unlike most of the non-staff kids at church, they let their guards down. They don’t feel the need to be on their best behavior. Although we train them to be respectful, they have their moments—as we all do. They’re in need of Jesus as much as the next kid.