I know mother’s day is a special day for most of you and most probably a day some of you have been looking forward to, especially if you’re a new mom, but I also know for some it’s a gruesome day and that you probably can’t wait for the morning after so you can finally be past what you feel is “much ado about nothing”
In reality, I know that sometimes Mother’s day hurts. You ask me how I know?
I see it! I see it in this world where there are piles of things that hurt, and that hurt can be magnified on a day like this that is supposed to bring joy to most.
I see it in the mom who has miscarried yet again and her friends say to her “You’ll have another one”
I see it in the mom whose child has just been diagnosed and her family can’t understand why the child keeps acting out and they conclude that “he just needs more discipline”
I see it in the mom whose child is being detained because he’s was on the wrong side of the law,
I see it in the daughter who has lost her mom through death,
I see it in the mom whose adult kids are not talking to her because they feel that she interferes too much when all she really wants is to help them avoid some of the mistakes she’s made.
I see it in the mom who had to bury her child,
I see it in the mom who gave her child up for adoption because she couldn’t offer that child the kind of life she wanted him to have,
I see it in the woman who’s taking another pregnancy test with the hope that this time it will be positive,
I see it in the woman who had an abortion as a teen because she didn’t know any better,
I see it in the Pastor’s wife who can’t have kids of her own but keeps hearing that she has a lot of “spiritual children”
I see it in all the moms who have “stuff” that they’re dealing with alongside their kids and they realize yet again that they fall short and that the do not measure up to the image of a perfect mom that we see portrayed on Mother’s day.
I know some of you will argue that it’s just another day on the calendar, that the day shouldn’t make us feel like crappy mothers or that the day shouldn’t even hurt, but the truth is it does. The reality is, sometimes Mother’s day is hard and some times it’s just too much!
I think it’s too much because it creates this illusion in our minds that motherhood is perfect. It creates the illusion that only mothers who have perfectly clean homes, kids with perfectly tied pony tails who sit still during church service, hot home cooked meals with organic home grown veges and A+ students are worth celebrating. It creates the illusion that mothers who are worth celebrating have well balanced bank accounts, no financial worries, never battle with depression or health issues and that their kids give them breakfast in bed with hand crafted cards every mother’s day.
But reality? Real Motherhood?
The reality is Real motherhood doesn’t look like that! Real motherhood is tough! Real motherhood hurts! Real motherhood sometimes is full of fights, uncompliant kids, divorce, battling with physical or mental illness, having little to no budget for the much needed necessities for your kids, financial worries, marriage problems, insecurities in your job, elderly parents that need care, infertility, miscarriages, death, the lists goes on and on and on….
This is not about writing a list of all the things that could go awry with motherhood but acknowledging that these things are there. These things are real, these things can bring even more pain on mothers day. These are not the things that make their way onto a Mother’s day card or TV advert, but these things are part of real life, real motherhood.
So this Mother’s day, regardless of what season you might be in your motherhood, choose to celebrate. Celebrate YOU! Maybe you might feel that you don’t have a life that’s perfect or you feel that nothing is worth celebrating. Maybe you might not do all the things that others do on Mother’s day or might not even get a card. Maybe you feel that all you ever do is give and never get anything in return, maybe you feel that you’re not appreciated or maybe even that you’re not a good enough mother. Maybe you feel that it’s not fair that you should be hurting on Mother’s day but you know what? Today, I celebrate you. I thank you for who you are and for all that you do.
I thank you and honor you for what you do on all the 365 days of the year that are not celebrated. I thank you for all the sacrifices you make, that no one sees. The early mornings and late nights, preparing meals that no one wants to eat, getting through yet another load of laundry, buttoning shirts, cleaning up after everyone, staying up late with a sick child, mending broken teenage hearts, opening slammed doors, scrubbing kids during bathtime, playing the role of mom and also dad at times, reading stories and taking up that side job so you could earn an extra income. I thank you for your selflessness, giving up a part of yourself as you make deposits into your kids lives everyday.
Thank you that even when you realized that you don’t have all that is required to raise your kids, you still keep going anyway. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you that even when you’re afraid you push forward. Thank you that no matter how hard a specific day was, you wake up with the hope that tomorrow will be better. Thank you for your bravery. The world needs more people like you. People who will set aside their own dreams to realize the dreams of others. Thank you for allowing God’s love and character to shine through you and thank you for being you.